Back then, I did not fully understand what exactly a psychologist did, but when I heard that they help people with their feelings, I was hooked.
As a young girl, I was also enamored with children and babies. I was always the one who wanted to play with the baby instead of with my own friends and family. People would always say to me, “You’re going to be a great Mom.”
Years later, I went to college and studied Human Services and Education as my major. After college, I decided to go to Simmons Graduate School of Social Work where I graduated with my MSW and got a job in Early Intervention. It was the perfect job that combined my love of helping people with my affection for children.
Shortly after I began working at Early Intervention, I got engaged to my Husband, who I had known since we were ten years old. After dating for four years, we were ready to begin the next stage of our life, getting married and starting a family. As soon as we were married, we tried to start a family. But, it didn’t go as smoothly as we had dreamed it would.
I spent three long, hard years undergoing infertility treatments and coping with miscarriages. Through all of this, I was still working in E.I. Emotionally, it was extremely difficult for me to work with parents because they had no idea how hard it was for me to support a family that had what my husband and I wanted so badly.
But at long last, after a terrifying roller coaster of emotions and medical interventions, I was finally able to get pregnant and sustain the pregnancy. I was a nervous wreck throughout the pregnancy, but I was so happy! I naively thought that I was in control now and everything would go as I wanted it to. 5 weeks before my due date, I underwent an emergency C-section.
I thank God every day that my baby boy Daniel was born healthy with minimal complications. I was so happy to go home and begin my life as a mother! I was blissfully in love with Daniel and so in love with my husband for giving me such an amazing gift.
We had a host of challenges with my son Daniel’s feeding, gaining weight, and thriving. But, despite the problems, the world still seemed perfect to me. However, three months after Daniel was born, everything changed, I found out I was pregnant again.
I was overwhelmed and scared because I didn’t feel prepared for another pregnancy. I was not ready to share myself with any child other than the one I worked three years to get. It proved to be another difficult pregnancy. After weeks of doctor appointments, it was declared that I had lost another pregnancy.
During one of the medical appointments, they also discovered a tissue mass in my uterus. The doctors wanted to perform a biopsy. I already had four procedures done with the other miscarriages and they always resulted in infections and complications. I reluctantly agreed to the surgery on the condition that they did it by ultra-sound instead of doing it blindly which is the typical protocol. During the operation, the ultra-sound showed that there was a viable fetus with a strong heart beat hiding behind the dissolving tissue mass. There was a twin that had survived.
I had already accepted that fact that I had lost the pregnancy and that I was going to go back to just being Daniel’s mom for a while. Now I was being told that I would have another child in six months. I felt like it was more than I could handle. I was amazed that I had spent three years trying to conceive a baby and then, just 3 months after Daniel was born, I conceived again without any medical interventions.
In spite of my fears, I knew there was a little miracle growing inside of me. If I had not demanded an ultra-sound, the fetus would have been removed along with everything else in my uterus. I knew it was meant to be, I just did not know how I was going to do it.
The doctors did not think I would be able to carry the pregnancy to term. However, one day before Daniel’s first birthday, my baby girl, Kayla, was born.
It was a time of joy but also a time of stress and emotional strain. With all the pressure building around me, I just broke. Slowly, I built myself up again. I finally understood that parenting is the hardest job in the world.
As time wore on, I started missing being professionally involved in helping others. But, I also wanted to be able to stay at home with my kids. I suddenly realized that I could do both! By offering my services for workshops, training, and consultations, I could help other parents and teachers and still have time to be the mom I always wanted to be.
I know I’m not a perfect parent….there is no such thing! But now I really understand the obstacles and challenges that parents and teachers face. I understand what it is like being overwhelmed and feeling stuck. And, I also know the amazing feeling of success and I would love to be able to share that with you!
With my education and professional and personal experiences, I can help you feel empowered too!